I am immensely grateful that my generation of veterans did not have to experience what the Vietnam generation did. My returns to the United States after deployments overseas were marked by balloons, cheers, and lots of “thank-yous,” not spit and being called a baby-killer. Since Vietnam, our country has learned to separate the war from the war-fighter, and we are better for it.
My generation instead began to contend with a gaping chasm between those that served (and their families) and those that did not.
Just over 1% of the nation served in the conflicts of the post-9/11 generation. Only 33% of those under 30 have a familial connection to someone who served. Not only is there a smaller sliver of the pie who served, but these people tend to come from an even smaller group of family networks.
Thankfully, the pendulum took a swing away from the negative stigma of the Vietnam era, but responded with a hollow misunderstanding of service. Instead we got a lot of yellow ribbons and “thank you for your service” comments, but little understanding of what military service actually entailed.
The danger comes when the conversation cannot move beyond “Everyone who serves is a hero.”
Speaking from firsthand experience as a transitioning service member, the common message is that every employer wants to hire you and every school wants to let you in. I will say that I have been amazed at the willingness of people to help me through this process and the amount of resources created to help veterans transition. Initiatives like Google’s veteran job-search functioned advertised at the Super Bowl, and the gracious matching by universities of the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill through the Yellow Ribbon Program, are exemplars of the opportunities opened up for my generation. But if we keep telling veterans that they are all heroes, there will continue to be an expectation that the day you leave the base for the last time, there will be a ticker-tape parade and a limousine to escort you to your new career. This is not reality.
Hero worship can also make it difficult for veterans to seek the help they may desperately need. After being told by everyone that you are a hero, it can be hard to admit that you feel guilt over the the things you saw or did in war and harder to admit that you need help to address these issues. The expectations of your status as a hero are written, and that can be hard to undo.
It is not unheard of to see signs around the 4th of July, notifying neighbors not to shoot fireworks because of the veteran who lives in the house. While civilians may see a hero, I see a veteran who likely needs help but is not seeking it. Instead they hide behind a sign and their “hero” status.
Beyond the needs of individual veterans are the needs of the Nation. Veterans comprise a small percentage of the population, and there are fewer and fewer people who know someone firsthand who serves. The halls of Congress have also fewer Veterans than they once did, with veterans currently make up 18% of the members in Congress, down from around 75% after Vietnam. This is a troubling situation, where the leaders of our Nation, most of who do not have military experience, are then receiving the testimony of senior military leaders who are advising them on one use of force or another. What worries me is that the guilt of the collective consciousness, struggling with what our nation asked the Post-9/11 generation of veterans to do, and the making into heroes of all those who serve, being unable to disagree with the generals and admirals. One cannot look at this situation and the seemingly unending wars in the Middle East and think that they are not connected.
There are two parts to addressing this. Civilians- talk to a vet. As in with anyone, to understand their experience you have to get to to know them. Move beyond a handshake and “Thank you for your service,” to peel back to the hero label and understand the humanity of someone’s service. Veterans- know that our country is going to great lengths to bring you into the fold, but know that you are not owed anything.
There is a great story of GEN (Ret.) Colin Powell. The day after he retired his sink stopped working. He grabbed the phone to call base housing to come and fix it and then remembered that he retired and no one was going to come. So he grabbed a wrench and fixed the sink. Sometimes that’s all a hero is: someone grabbing a wrench and fixing their own sink.